So it seems it’s time once again to question my whole existence as an artist. A regular occurrence it seems, tending to fall oddly enough just after my biannual assessment at my current institute. I am starting to see where the problem lies; I have no trouble contextualising and presenting my subject matter through the medium of writing. The trouble seems to come when I try to relay this visually. Quite a problem it seems for an artist, and one that needs solving.
Maybe it would make sense to look at why I chose a fine art vocation in the first place. I was a portrait artist for a long time, with a fascination of popular culture. I had a love of colour and form and loved to explore this through my artwork. I have also always been an analytical contemplator. When I started to learn about the art world, in particular about modern contextual artwork, I learnt that I could make artwork with meaning, about subjects that interest me. Ironically however, the beauty that I admired previously when creating artwork does not sit comfortably with the dark and sometimes transgressive nature of my recent subject matter. And when creating contextual visual artwork, it has only illustrated rather than explored. My use of popular culture has also been questioned. I wasn’t sure that I knew what my fascination with it was, but now I know; It’s hard being an adult, but knowing that everyone goes through the same trials and tribulations as you seems to help somewhat. You feel like you’re not completely on your own. Popular culture connects me to the world and stops me feeling alone. I can relate to others from all walks of life. Troubled and complicated individuals fascinate me the most. Because if the most admirable of people can be troubled then maybe I’m not doing so bad after all. And if others have the same view as me, then maybe I’m on the right path.
I learnt to write by reading, researching and learning. The more text I read, the more words I learn which makes it a lot easier to put across what I am trying to say. The more things I read about the more my knowledge grows. I think the solution to my problems is therefore a simple one (as they usually are), I need to research visual mediums… thoroughly.
Answers often come from within. You just have to search for them.
I feel today I need to talk you about some really deep issues. I feel like I need to touch the depths of your souls and open up mine. Will you be my therapist?
I have been meandering along the path of disillusionment for some time now, under the misguided belief that I have something to offer mankind. And although I knew at the back of my mind that my calling wouldn’t just come to me without any effort on my part, I was a nice idealism and a complete time waster at that.
I have proved to myself I am strong, I can do whatever I set out to do and I haven’t given myself enough credit for the large obstacles I have overcome. This is a lesson learned; this is the proof I need to achieve anything I want. So this is the plan; I have so many opportunities to develop myself, and I am going to grasp those opportunities in both hands. Because once I am in a situation where I have the contacts and resources to help, maybe I can make that difference. I won’t bore you with a schedule of events, I have strong mental notes and this part would be uninteresting to you. The results; those are the interesting bits to come.
It’s a wonderful thing to discover that you are no longer overwhelmed by your ego. For once I want to succeed for the greater good (maybe with the occasional ego stroking, just to remind myself I am still human)
I have spent a long time focusing on fear. It has been very productive and taught me a lot about myself. One of the big revelations that have come from the learning curve however, is that I no longer live in fear. Amen.
Welcome to Confessions In Art. I suppose the best place to start would be the reason behind this blog.
I have been blogging for a few years now; this is my second blog. I have been using blogging as a creative tool to publicise my achievements in art. To some degree I would like to use this blog to carry this on, but thought a new blog was necessary due to the direction my artwork seems to be taking. I have recently been exploring the bounds and possibilities of confessional art after the realisation of the cathartic nature of my work. I have been working on an art journal over the summer and would like to take this further by documenting the exploration of the depths of my subconscious.
Therefore, this blog is also a piece of artwork within itself; an online art journal. And naturally, it will be self-medicated therapy and a virtual public confession of the workings of my psyche. Enjoy!